Moon of Alabama Brecht quote
May 13, 2008
Texan Characteristics of Terrorists

Via Cyrus Safdari a flyer (front, back) by the Counterterrorism Intelligence Unit of the Texas Department of Public Safety. The title:

TERRORISM – What the Public Needs to Know

This brochure is intended to provide information that will help YOU to help US in our everyday effort to identify and stop terrorism-before it becomes a deadly and tragic reality.

The flyer goes on to list "Some Characteristics of Terrorists":

  • Typically focused and committed to their cause.
  • Team oriented and very disciplined.
  • Trained to be familiar with their physical environment whether it be a 747 jumbo jet or a courthouse.
  • Will employ a variety of vehicles and communicate predominately by cellphone, E Mail or text messenging services.
  • Well prepared to spend years in "sleeper mode" until it comes time to attack.
  • In many cases may appear to fit in and not draw attention to themselves.
  • Will appear normal in appearance and behavior while portraying themselves as a tourist, student or business person.
  • May be found traveling in mixed groups of men, women and children of varying ages who are unaware of their purpose.
  • Trained to avoid confrontations with law enforcement and therefore can be expected to portray a "nice guy" image.
  • Known to use disguises or undergo plastic surgery especially when featured on police wanted posters list some.

Cyrus admits that he fits all the above. I am now preparing an email to the Special Crimes Service of Texas to turn him in.

Who else here do I need to list?

Confess!

Okay, I will add myself. I also fit the above and even some other additional criteria laid out in the flyer.

Recently, I made a large cash purchase of beer, wine and liquor. Texas seems to have reason to suspect that terrorists are doing such. I also own a relative large amount of clothing, especially of Levi jeans. This, according to the flyer, is another of many sign that I am a terrorist.

At least in Texas, where everything is a bit bigger than elsewhere.

Comments

That’s it!! Time to build a wall around Texas.
(b, check 2nd and 3rd links)

Posted by: beq | May 13 2008 16:53 utc | 1

thanks beq – corrected

Posted by: b | May 13 2008 17:24 utc | 2

Therefore every one is a potential terrorist who is not currently lobotomized and/or institutionalized, cares about the way he or she looks and behaves, exhibits competence in anything, and is functional to some degree in society. Trust no one. Detain all. Make us safe by keeping us fearful of everyone and everything.
Neocons are the ultimate cowards.

Posted by: Diogenes | May 13 2008 17:35 utc | 3

Here is an actual link to the pamphlet.

Posted by: bk | May 13 2008 19:05 utc | 4

b,
Turn me in.
Can’t we just cede Texas to Mexico? We’ve taken all the oil out anyway, so, what is it good for?

Posted by: IntelVet | May 13 2008 22:22 utc | 5

IntelVet, it did all belong to Mexico in the first place. I really used to enjoy travelling there. People are for the most part more civilized than here. And once you’re far enough south to lose the Tex-Mex, the food is delicious, and with a much wider diversity than what’s found in the Southwest US.

Posted by: mikefromtexas | May 14 2008 2:30 utc | 6

I have two mecury switches that have been laying in one of my junk boxes for 15 years — does that make me a sleeper cell?
Whoever composed, produced and distributed that flyer should be charged with abuse of public funds.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 14 2008 5:41 utc | 7

Found under the “X” in Texas:
-Typically focused and committed to their political party.
-Team oriented and very disciplined, with strong, shadowy second-in-command figure.
-Trained to be familiar with their physical environment whether it be the Air Force One 747 jumbo jet or the deck of an aircraft carrier.
-Will employ a variety of vehicles, such as helicopters, mountainbikes and golf carts, and communicate predominately by cellphone, E Mail or text messenging services, and immediately delete or “lose” any suspicious transmissions
-Well prepared to spend months in Crawford in “vacation mode” until it comes time to attack.
-Will attempt to appear normal in appearance and speech behavior while portraying themselves as a politician, diplomat or business person.
-May be found traveling in mixed groups of men, women and children of varying ages who are unaware of their purpose, often seen distributing Thanksgiving dinners to these unawares
-Trained to avoid confrontations with law enforcement by rewrtiting laws and therefore can be expected to portray a “nice guy” image.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 14 2008 5:50 utc | 8

I don’t know about Texas, but the guy next to me on the bus today sure liked
McCain. He was a roustabout, millhand and tilled a 5-acre horse paddock out
in the county, just on his way back home after picking up his unemployment
check in town, and gettin’ a snoot full, calling around to anyone who was at
home to say how McCain was ‘the man for the common folks, a warrior, an old-
timer, someone who knew (sic) country living, and wore clodhoppers in spring’.
So much for the bald Clinton lie, that she’s the man of blue collar folks.
If the Democrats let her camel’s foot into the tent, better kiss the ring
on another four years of a Bushistan papacy, and any loose ends the Neo-zi’s
didn’t pick up this time, will be locked down and papered all around by 2012.
Some day not to long now, we’ll all look back, and shake our heads and laugh,
“Aww, shucks, they shure did pull the wool over our eyes, what’r ya gonna do?”
and that’s why the US savings rate is sub-zero since Reaganauts stole power,
and put a pretend cowboy, pretend war hero, a GE Hour cheerleader in office,
Dove Flakes, Wheaties, Kaptain Kangaroo, Howdie Dootie nee Blackhawks Down.
That’s what sells Americans out, Mom, Apple Pie, and an AK-47 on the mantle.
And that’s what we got, sorta. Grandma, shoo-fly pie, and a broke-down M-16.
The horse gone lame, the fence needs fixin’, and the wheat’s all lodged, Pa!
Fuck oh dear, don’t know whether to shit or go blind, an’ the dam’s broke!!

Posted by: Texas Twostep | May 14 2008 6:06 utc | 9

I have some serious plastic surgery related to a bout with breast cancer. And I’m an Arab-American housewife. everybody says I “don’t look like one” (Arab they mean… housewife we aren’t sure). I often travel with my children, who are completely unaware that I am anything but a sometimes strict mommy (no TV until you do your homework!)
Clearly I am more of a terrorist than I realized. Good thing I am back in treatment for cancer – neutralizes my capacity to commit havoc – but it could all be just another clever sleeper cell tactic.
These guys are so on to me!

Posted by: Leila Abu-Saba | May 14 2008 10:44 utc | 10

Oh yeah, and changing my appearance? Check out my blog post of last month: Evolution. Have I changed my appearance! Or my oncologist has. Of course I wish I still had my hair and my eyebrows, but that just means that I can wear wigs, turbans, headscarves, and change my eyebrow color with pencils. People don’t recognize me from one week to the next! Very useful for covert work.
Now if only I could blend in a little more. I’m so tall and so flamboyant that I just stick out in a crowd.

Posted by: Leila Abu-Saba | May 14 2008 10:48 utc | 11

leila
the memoir of your father reminded me of that generation when giants walked the earth – it is moving for me – because i was a special witness of that generation – i remember a doctor of venereal diseases with the unfortunate name of finger – who behaved like an exemplary communist ought to – & his natural decency persuaded many a person about his ideas & i knew many like him – people who lived lives worthy of living. at a time especially in the wwest where people live reduced lives & even those full of fear – i am reminded often of the simple grandeur of their humanity. your father was obvioussly one of those people
get well
force et amité

Posted by: remembereringgiap | May 14 2008 19:43 utc | 12

So good to have you Leila Abu-Saba, hope you recover well, and soon.

Posted by: Uncle $cam | May 14 2008 22:01 utc | 13

What a nice Texas welcome, you all; so many of you actually dropped by my place! I am impressed and grateful. Texans are wonderful people.
I have two first cousins in Texas and I’m related through my mother to those wacky Lamars, Mirabeau Bonaparte and LQC I and II. My Lebanese father always enjoyed bragging about how he had married into the Lamar family, startling his Texas colleagues.
Also I know you all have some real bona fide libruls in Texas and for that I salute the Lone Star State.
PS – tall and flamboyant – I know I’d fit right in in Texas.

Posted by: Leila Abu-Saba | May 14 2008 23:34 utc | 14

But of course the name of the blog is Moon of Alabama. I was very confused by the post title…. can we chalk it up to chemo brain? I feel so silly… Big kisses to Alabama. I have ANOTHER cousin who lives in Birmingham.

Posted by: Leila Abu-Saba | May 15 2008 4:42 utc | 15

Welcome Leila. If you’re not confused enough, our host lives in Hamburg (the one in Germany). We come from all over so you fit right in.

Posted by: beq | May 15 2008 11:34 utc | 16