is that a doric column, or a dork column?

Posted by: catlady | Jul 11 2007 21:50 utc | 3

“That’s what eight inches looks like, Mr. President.”

Posted by: Anonymous | Jul 11 2007 22:45 utc | 5

“With one cut, you make three pieces. Heh. Heh.”

Posted by: Antifa | Jul 11 2007 23:35 utc | 7

“…and that’s it, ladies and gentlemen. With this…,steady, steady..simple jester, oops- straight ahead, ok I see it now …I am now severing the last symbolic thread of connection I had to reality.”

Posted by: Maxcrat | Jul 12 2007 0:42 utc | 9

tony snow: “every second of life is a bonus”
lawraw: “his wife was a spent piece of used jet trash, made good bloody marys, kept her mouth shut most of the time, had a little chihuahua named carlos that had some kind of skin disease and was totally blind…”
w: “larry mondello wears horizontally striped tshirts”
scully: “The theoretical meaning of the difference between theory and practice is that practice can no more be reduced to pure theory than it is separate of it. The two cannot be glued together in a synthesis. What has not been severed lives solely in the extremes, in a spontaneously stirring impatience with argumentation, in the unwillingness to let the horror go on, and in the theoretical discernment, unterrorized by commands, that shows us why the horror goes on anyway, ad infinitum…”

Posted by: slothrop | Jul 12 2007 1:53 utc | 11

Good-bye Munchkinland!

Posted by: Malooga | Jul 12 2007 2:54 utc | 13

No, our boy Wonder is NOT off the wagon… see, his hand is steady. At least, for as long as it takes the cameras to flash…

Posted by: Bea | Jul 12 2007 3:11 utc | 15

See Bush really can accomplish something with a little help!

Posted by: Rick | Jul 12 2007 3:42 utc | 17

oh shit! there goes a digit.

Posted by: b real | Jul 12 2007 4:12 utc | 19

@slothrop:
heheh! “never could stand that dog”
which brings to mind: “there’s a lot going on underground”

Posted by: catlady | Jul 12 2007 4:43 utc | 21

“But I’m a uniter, not a divider!”

Posted by: ralphieboy | Jul 12 2007 5:39 utc | 23

“Mision Accomplished! No, wait…”

Posted by: Joe F | Jul 12 2007 11:58 utc | 25

“Damned Iranians ………. they made it scissor-proof!”

Posted by: Parviz | Jul 12 2007 12:01 utc | 27

“Though I just ain’t cuttin’ it I’m sure doin’ one heckuva job…..”

Posted by: Parviz | Jul 12 2007 12:14 utc | 29

This from whitehouse.gov

8:05 A.M. EDT
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you very much. I like a good, short introduction. (Laughter.)
Q — (inaudible) —
THE PRESIDENT: Yes. (Laughter.) After all, it is your room. (Laughter.) Welcome back to the West Wing. We missed you — sort of. (Laughter.) I can already tell this place has improved; the last time I was in here to hold a press conference I broke out into a sweat — not because of your questions, but because of the climate. The air-conditioner seems to work well. I hope the facility is — suits your needs. I really do.
The relationship between the President and the press is a unique relationship, and it’s a necessary relationship. I enjoy it. I hope you do. As I say, sometimes you don’t like the decisions I make, and sometimes I don’t like the way you write about the decisions. But nevertheless, it’s a really important part of our process. And the fact that you were working in substandard conditions just wasn’t right. It really wasn’t.
And so my White House worked with Steve and Ann, worked with Mark Smith to get it right. And I think it’s going to benefit future Presidents and future White House press corps, to be working in modern conditions, conditions where a fellow like me will feel comfortable coming in here answering a few questions without losing 20 pounds. (Laughter.)
It was really hot in here. As a matter of fact, I can’t imagine how Snow could handle it on a regular basis. But now it’s modern, and it’s going to enable you to do a better job. And I’m glad that’s the case.
I want to thank Peter Doherty — where is he? Yes, Peter, thanks for working hard here. You get a lot of credit for making sure this thing works. And one of these days Laura and I are looking forward to coming and actually see what it’s like working here. I’ve never toured — I’ve never even been able to get beyond the podium — (laughter) — if you know what I mean. As a matter of fact, I’ve always felt comfortable behind the podium in front of you, kind of as a shield. (Laughter.) But I would like a tour.
Q Bullet-proof —
THE PRESIDENT: Well, it’s not exactly bullet-proof. Some of your bullets are able to — verbal bullets — (laughter) — are able to penetrate. But you’ve been around a long time, see, you know what it’s like to query Presidents. You’ve been — you’re kind of an older fellow. (Laughter.)
Q — (inaudible) —
THE PRESIDENT: Yes — proudly so. Thanks for the birthday greeting, too. I appreciate that thoughtful gesture.
But, anyway, we’re glad to join you for this ribbon-cutting, and we thank you very much for working with Hagin and the bunch to make sure this thing — deal works. And it’s going to. And it’s going to make your life better and, frankly, it’s going to make the lives of future Presidents better, as well. And so it’s a good contribution that you all have left behind. And we’re glad to have been a part of it. And so — wait —
Q What, do you think I’m going to ask a question?
THE PRESIDENT: Yes, I did think you were going to ask me a question, yes. (Laughter.)
Q I am. (Laughter.)
THE PRESIDENT: Well, maybe some other time.
Q Oh, but do you think you open —
THE PRESIDENT: See what I’m saying? (Laughter.)
Q You can’t come to the press room, especially a modern press room —
THE PRESIDENT: Wait a minute, let’s do this — let me cut the ribbon, and —
Q You think anything has changed?
THE PRESIDENT: Let me cut the ribbon — are you going to cut it with me, Steve — and then why don’t you all yell simultaneously? (Laughter.) Like, really loudly. (Laughter.) And that way you might get noticed.
Q It doesn’t sound like you’re going to answer —
THE PRESIDENT: No, I will. I’ll, like, listen —
Q And leave?
THE PRESIDENT: — internalize, play like I’m going to answer the question, and then smile at you and just say, gosh — (laughter) — thanks, thanks for such a solid, sound question.
Here we go, ready? I’m going to cut the ribbon. (Laughter.) Then you yell. I cogitate — and then smile and wave. (Laughter.)
Are you going to come, Laura? Here we go.
(The President and Mrs. Bush cut the ribbon.) (Applause.)
Q — (inaudible) —
THE PRESIDENT: Brilliant question.
Q — (inaudible) — cogitating that, right?
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all. See you soon.
Q We look forward to seeing you come and do a little —
THE PRESIDENT: I will see you soon, thank you.

Based on that, I’d say: George made Laura come

Posted by: Juan Moment | Jul 12 2007 13:52 utc | 31

President Bush proudly demonstrates his newly mastered scissor skills. According to Tony Snow, upcoming pressers will include “amazing” demonstrations featuring play-doh, finger-cymbals, and a slinky.
In a related story, according to a senior administration official, Vice-President Cheney was observed dressing up Ken Dolls in miniature Gitmo jumpsuits and crisping them in a flag-bedecked easy-bake oven.

Posted by: OkieByAccident | Jul 12 2007 22:22 utc | 33

Laura’s here so it ca’nt posssibly be a pretzel. Sure feels like one though.

Posted by: jony_b_cool | Jul 13 2007 0:31 utc | 35

Tony Snow:
(as Bush struggles with the scissors)
“Just imagine it’s the last copy of the Constitution, sir”

Posted by: bcf | Jul 14 2007 0:30 utc | 37

Oh, to everyone suggesting that Bush might somehow neuter himself, come on, get serious.
That may be a small pair of scissors, but they ain’t tweezers.

Posted by: Anonymous | Jul 14 2007 0:50 utc | 39