My New Years Resolution – Moon of Alabama

January 1, 2007

My New Years Resolution

by Uncle $cam
(lifted from a comment)

It has always been my habit to ignore traditions such as New Years resolutions due to the intrinsic value of drunken promises.

This year I have decided to compose a set of fifteen resolutions prior
to beginning my yearly ritualistic alcohol fest. They go like this:

I resolve to remember:

In America: We elect Representatives not leaders or kings
Corporations are not living breathing natural persons and thus should never enjoy Constitutional rights as persons.
The first ten amendments of the Constitution of the United States (also known as the Bill rights) are not amendable.
Taxes collected and then spent against the will of the people constitutes taxation without representation.
The Constitution of the United States of America contains no language declaring America "Policeman to the world".
True American Patriots support and defend the United States Constitution NOT a political party or even FOX news.
Defending the United States Constitution is not a criminal terrorist act regardless
of any legalese contained in the Patriot Act.
A fascist government by definition; cannot enact the will of the people.
If George Bush could become President ANYONE of us could also be President.
Electing lawyers to serve in congress is akin to appointing Mark Foley Boy Scout Troop leader.
The original intent of the FCC was to prevent monopolization of the
air waves, not to squelch free speech or hide Janet Jackson’s nipples.
Jesus is not a republican.
Jesus is GW Bush’s favorite philosopher not his God.
Statutory law often runs ruff-shod over the United States Constitution.
There is no measurable difference between Republicans and Democrats.

Happy New Year.

Posted by b on January 1, 2007 at 10:28 UTC | Permalink

Comments

Re: 9. If George Bush could become President ANYONE of us could also be President.
Who the hell ever said George Bush was elected President? And even so, it seems to prove the opposite to me. Unless you are extremely well connected and have have the nearly limitless funding that comes from being born into a hereditary dynasty, NOBODY, despite their competence or qualifications, can also be President.
As for resolutions… a quick peek at the world around me has confirmed for me only one resolution for the new year… no matter what else happens, I will NOT let them take me alive.

Posted by: Monolycus | Jan 1 2007 10:39 utc | 1

Excellent resolutions, but how can you implement them?

Posted by: hopping madbunny | Jan 1 2007 10:52 utc | 2

Yikes! wait! I didn’t write that it came from here, and I was to much in a hurry to get out the door to link to it. Sorry folks.

Posted by: Uncle $cam | Jan 1 2007 11:02 utc | 3

Awake.
Bit shaky, but glad I am here. Hamburger is an excellent host and I have had a steady breakfast. Time to start a new year.
I liked the list, where ever it came from. And I especially liked

I resolve to remember:

The focus on remembering is important. Minitrue can never get to your own memory if you do not let it.
And as Milan Kundera said:

“the struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting”

Posted by: a swedish kind of death | Jan 1 2007 15:08 utc | 4

During the Travel Channel’s coverage of the Tournament of Roses Parade just now, we could clearly see a big “IMPEACH” banner being held up along the parade route. We checked the NBC and ABC coverage, and ABC at least had a camera on the same stretch of the boulevard carefully positioned such that the banner was just offscreen…

Posted by: OkieByAccident | Jan 1 2007 16:57 utc | 5

Thanks to Bernhard for maintaining this site and thanks to all who comment here………..A Happy New Year to all and lets hope that at least things don’t get worse!……….Yours in Peace………R.L.Kirtley

Posted by: R.L. | Jan 1 2007 17:02 utc | 6

Aha! We just spotted the banner on NBC. Bet some terrorist-symp cameraman gets fired for that slip-up. On the other hand, the NBC coverage isn’t advertised as “live”. Well, perhaps NBC’s Government Censor had a rough New Year’s Eve…

Posted by: OkieByAccident | Jan 1 2007 17:03 utc | 7

Exactly, ASKOD, rememberance is at the heart of the matter — those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it in the future.

Posted by: Chuck Cliff | Jan 1 2007 17:53 utc | 8

Bravo! rememberance indeed, has been replaced with, re-meme-ber-rinse…
Yes and it’s been an induced incremental, generational and methodical trauma-induced amnesia ASKOD. A media-induced amnesia. I realized that the day I found out that they omitted the whole ‘watergate’ scandal
in my daughters history book.
Basically, it goes like this:
1. Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb for the banana.
2. As soon as the ape touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result – all the apes are sprayed with cold water.
3. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will prevent it even though no water sprays them.
4. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
5. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The other newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
6. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.
7. After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?
BECAUSE that’s the way it’s always been done around here.
A dissociative splintering of the collective society, the “Memory Wars” of the 21st century.
Posttraumatic amnesia extends beyond the experience of sexual and combat trauma and is a protean symptom, which reflects responses to the gamut of traumatic events.

Posted by: Uncle $cam | Jan 1 2007 18:13 utc | 9

Poor George, he can’t even organize a lynching right.
He invaded Iraq to “kick Saddam Hussein’s sorry ass all over the Middle East”. It seemed easy, after all, he had the might and power of the US government and military, and SH was not the nicest person in the world, having invaded two neighbors at the instigation of previous US administrations, and murdered thousands of his own countrymen.
Then SH gets caught, and a show trial is arranged which sinks into a shouting match.
Then he is handed over to a Sadrist lynch mob for hanging, and these guys are so inept that the whole world, including some disgusted Americans, feel sympathetic for Saddam Hussein, the former tyrant!
This goes beyond stupidity into the realm of parody. Except that no one would believe the parody.
I’m just sorry that William Shakespeare is not around to write a play about it; I’m sure that this would make a wonderful subject.
A miserably incompetent scion of a large family tries to make good by invading a foreign country to show his dad that he is not a total failure. In the process, he turns the former tyrant into a hero, destroys his country’s treasury and good will, as well as getting his countrymen killed in a faraway land for no good reason. The father sends his cronies to salvage the son’s reputation, but the son is too proud, and refuses to listen, committing even more of his countrymen to the meat grinder.
In the end, the country becomes hated and reviled in the world, while their enemies become popular. The only thing left for the countrymen to do is argue about who is to blame for the tragedy that befell their empire, reducing it within eight short years to a mere shadow of its former self.

Posted by: Chris Marlowe | Jan 1 2007 19:16 utc | 10

Great story Uncle.
I am applying the same model to all kinds of normal social behavior now: schools of course comes up first, but so many more, like religion, auto/highway dependency, armies & war, etc. Point is none of these is essential or even helpful to our collective well-being.
I’ll add this thought. As we seem to be seem to be approaching limits (quickly)in some of these social habits, like too many cars & not enough fuel, or too many retailers and not enough space or consumers…And the masses have no earthly idea how to cope with loss of their habitat, then what is the end result?
I often wonder if I’m missing something which causes others to assume that continuity is a given.

Posted by: rapt | Jan 1 2007 19:40 utc | 11

“Jesus is GW Bush’s favorite philosopher not his God.”
I would say: Jesus is GW Bush’s favorite EXCUSE.

Posted by: Susan | Jan 1 2007 21:07 utc | 12

has anyone heard from John Francis Lee?

Posted by: on a serious note | Jan 1 2007 22:07 utc | 13

@oasn #13
Haven’t heard from JFL since hir thought me a nasty bastard, however, I hold no ill will, and also add my concern.
Shout out John Francis Lee, let us know what’s going on in the ‘land of smiles’. Also, it does look as if the smile has been turned upside down could it be Thai PM Thaksin is taking a shot at using the Cheneyco’s play book for being canned?

Posted by: Uncle $cam | Jan 2 2007 0:31 utc | 14

Thought some but not all would find this of interest…
From Hopi Elders: The meaning of the times…

“We have been telling the people that this is the
Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered.
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in the right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, and push off and into the river,
Keep our eyes open, and our head above the water.
See who is in there with you and Celebrate.
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally.
Least of all ourselves.
For the moment that we do,
Our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over, Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that you do now must be done in a sacred manner
And in celebration.
We are the one’s we’ve been waiting for.”
The Elders, Hopi Nation, Oraibi Arizona

A New Year’s message perhaps?

Posted by: Uncle $cam | Jan 2 2007 0:44 utc | 15

beautiful uncle re words of hopi elders. thank you for the inspiration of the resolutions and monkey tale which you posted here before and its as perfect now, today as the first time. it is because of us we will (must) keep remembrance alive and never fear climbing for the banana (our sustenance).
rapt! where the hoot have you been. i’m sending you a spanking from the amazons for staying away so long!!!
And the masses have no earthly idea how to cope with loss of their habitat, then what is the end result?
hamburger and i were talkin about this tonight. we need to rethink habitat. fuck mc mansions. small intimate energy efficient spaces. this deserves a thread.
hamburger, please send me that katrina/oregon link
JFL.. sending you massive solidarity for your safety. please send us a sign in these turbulent times. big group hug from the hamburg crowd. ah exhale. rubbin’ our hands together, blowin in a wish/kiss.. sending you energy thru the waves that count (beq over my shoulder)..
possibly next year venice. there is an awesome possible abode offering.this is way to cool y’all, being together. so wish you were all with us in the flesh, you are w/us in heart.
sipping my very first lagavulin..
heaven

Posted by: annie | Jan 2 2007 2:10 utc | 16

Uh, annie? Is that beq, or beQ? over your shoulder? that’s kinda kinky, what are you folks doing over there…lol

Posted by: Uncle $cam | Jan 2 2007 2:49 utc | 17

we have 3 computers so we post w/imput and take turns. as i was rubbing my hands fast for heat and good luck and blowing adding warm breath, as one would do before throwing the dice, or a kiss, or a wish beq was my witness. just an image. conchita had read the thread first and read aloud 13, there was much concern and some talk..
btw, these little dirty bastard comments between friends, ah better to forget and forgive no? good on ya for holding no ill will and your shout out for our comrad.
xx, signing off for the night, er morn.i’m the only one whose head hasn’t hit the pillow..til the manana
heart all.

Posted by: annie | Jan 2 2007 3:06 utc | 18

Chris Marlowe-
nice post…too sadly true.
btw, stay out of bar fights for your health…just a feeling.

Posted by: fauxreal2007 | Jan 2 2007 5:13 utc | 19

@Uncle, #9:
Sounds like DKOS.
My squad is engineering workarounds.

Posted by: Smart Simian | Jan 2 2007 5:32 utc | 20

@Smart Simian
Heh???? Dkos? bleh…

Posted by: Uncle $cam | Jan 2 2007 5:45 utc | 21

annie @ 16
Here is the link to the Katrina houses we talked about.
Link not working for me now – maybe you can cut and paste:
http://www.cusatocottages.com/index_content.html
Hamburger and bun had a great time last night. Hope y’all come back one day. The door is always open to Moonbats.

Posted by: Hamburger | Jan 2 2007 13:24 utc | 22

@ Hamburger
thanks for the eats and hospitality last night. much appreciated.
as for your link, you need merely remove the trailing / to make it work. some webservers are fussy about that.

Posted by: dan of steele | Jan 2 2007 13:42 utc | 23

Hey Dan –
Glad you’re safely home and thanks for solving the mystery. ASKOD’s out shopping with annie and bun’s playing tennis. I count myself lucky to enjoy a quiet grey day here with echos of moonbats bouncing off the walls.
Next week: Bush will ask for sacrifice, like more of this?

Posted by: Hamburger | Jan 2 2007 14:16 utc | 24

or from these people?
Ehh, prolly not.

Posted by: Hamburger | Jan 2 2007 15:00 utc | 25

these folks will definitely make sacrifices.
16,273 deaths reported in Iraq in 2006
I am reminded of a story Jesse Jackson once told about sacrifice and it involved a chicken and a pig discussing how much they contributed to breakfast. It is clear to me that the Iraqis are making contributions to stability in Iraq in the same way the pig does for breakfast.

Posted by: dan of steele | Jan 2 2007 15:04 utc | 26

thanks for the link (and hospitality) hamburger. i love small spaces. will be passing this on. my new years resolution is less is more, again.
dan, what about the unreported deaths?? something tells me if 80% of the deaths go unreported just as many people loose their lives. the pain of loss is no less when it goes unreported, sometimes more if they just never come home.

Posted by: annie | Jan 2 2007 15:21 utc | 27

in my quest to annoy everyone I would also like to present some numbers that go with the above quote.
approx population of Iraq in July 06 was 26.783 million
the approx population of the US in July 06 was 298.444 million
If the US were to experience the same percentage of violent deaths as Iraq does, we would have had about 181,330 deaths this year. I don’t know the actual numbers for this year but in 2003 it was 49,639 or slightly more than a quarter of what the Iraqis are experiencing.
I was frankly shocked when I found the number in the US was that high. I had no idea. digging around I found this…

Of the G-7 countries, in the late 1980s the United States had the highest overall violent death rate (481 per 1,000,000 youths), a rate more than twice as high as those of Japan, Italy, and the United Kingdom (207, 232, and 235, respectively) and almost 30 percent higher than that of Canada, the G-7 country with the second highest rate (378). The United States was the leader in accidents (315) and homicides (86), and was third after East Germany and Canada in suicides (72, 142, and 88, respectively). The United States’ youth homicide rate was over 20 times higher than that of Japan, the G-7 country with the lowest homicide rate (4), and over 6 times higher than that of Canada, the G-7 nation with the second highest homicide rate (13).

and I don’t know if things have improved or got worse since then. damn!

Posted by: dan of steele | Jan 2 2007 15:35 utc | 28

Items #13 and 15 can be argued.
No, I don’t disagree with the gist of #13, the man who gave the Sermon on the Mount is not Bu$hie’s God. Bu$hie’s God presents to the President more like this but in reality looks more like this. But to have a philosophy you have to, you know, think about the words.
Finally, regarding #15: there is the difference between bad and worse, which is always sharper than between good and better.

Posted by: kelley b. | Jan 3 2007 2:59 utc | 29

My new years resolution:
Quit wasting money on stupid gifts that people don’t really need or want. Instead, I’ll make donations in their name, via http://www.ChangingThePresent.org

Posted by: Robert Tolmach | Jan 8 2007 0:11 utc | 30

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