Billmon:
Mark Twain himself couldn’t write a satirical finish that clever.
Back to Main
August 30, 2006
WB: Unintentional Irony Department
Comments
Bizzare that Ralph Peters can also do decent work as evidenced by his map.
While not perfect he does attempt to graphically explain the region’s ethnic groups and their territories. Of course there are major errors perhaps stemming from his own prejudices, including the cutting off of Syria from the sea by “Greater Lebanon.”
The main link is Armed Forces Journal.
Posted by: jonku | Aug 30 2006 9:38 utc | 1
Sorry jonku, but that map is an utterly unhistoric attempt of divide and conquer.
Peters writes:
Oh, and one other dirty little secret from 5,000 years of history: Ethnic cleansing works.
Sure it does. Killing works, genozide works – it just depends on your perspective.
Looking at his map, what is the justification of Kuwait, but oil interest? Why are Syria and Lebanon split but for French colonial machinations?
That is only decent work when you look at it form a Halliburton perspective.
The Middle East has one more chance for what? To be a colony of the West again?
Posted by: Diogenes | Aug 30 2006 12:30 utc | 3
Some bits are logical, like carving up Turkey and Pakistan, but frankly his Kurdistan is way too big, notably to the North, and I see no reason why Afghanistan would be that huge when just half the country is pashtun. Making a Pashtun state from half Afghanistan and bits of Pakistan could make sense, but then you’d have to give back toe Northern parts to the Uzbeks and Tajiks. Not to mention the split of Arabian states is just plain weird – except probably for a bit of a Shia state. And having a “Sunni state” around Baghdad is sheer lunacy. if it comes to that, then merge the whole effing thing with both Jordan and Syria and make a decently-sized Sunni Arab state. And most of Arabia probably should merge, notably all the rump Gulf states. For instance, as said before, Kuwait has o go, this is just obvious. Concerning Lebanon, well, it is a joke; half the land was originally Syrian, the rest of it being Druze and Maronite enclaves.
In most of the world, I’m not opposed as a principle to redraw borders – ultimately I’m of the opinion going to bigger multi-cultural entities where no specific “people” or “nation” would be a majority is a good thing, with the global challenges ahead -, but some ideas are just plain wrong, and others just crazy.
Concerning the article Billmon quoted, the guy is either a lying hypocritical bastard or his delusion borders on insanity.
Posted by: CluelessJoe | Aug 30 2006 12:45 utc | 4
The irony is killing me …
Sounded like a recipe for Rove’s GOP GOTV.
Posted by: SteinL | Aug 30 2006 12:57 utc | 5
You can fool around with any map, what matters are your intentions. My favorite on Peters’s map is Greater Azerbeijan. Our ex-darlings in Armenia are sure to appreciate that one.
Trivia for the day: Iran’s Über-Mullah, Ali Hosseini Khamenei, is, in fact, of Azeri ethnicity.
Meanwhile closer to home: there is still this map to think about.
Posted by: Guthman Bey | Aug 30 2006 13:21 utc | 6
“No society that oppresses women, denies advancement on merit even to men, indulges in fantastic hypocrisy, wallows in corruption, undervalues secular learning, reduces its god to a nasty disciplinarian and comforts itself with conspiracy theories will ever compete with us.”
Why does that remind me of this?
Posted by: TLaemmle | Aug 30 2006 17:17 utc | 7
If the remark was intended to be taken seriously, the speaker is a dolt.
If the remark is genuinely ironic, then the speaker is having some cruel fun with his listeners.
I vote for Interpretation #2.
Posted by: hopping madbunny | Aug 30 2006 17:58 utc | 8
The speaker may be actually asserting that we will discriminate, deny advancement, practice hypocrisy, wallow in corruption and worship a cruel God BETTER than anyone else.
Posted by: hopping madbunny | Aug 30 2006 17:59 utc | 9
Bunny, I’m familar with Ralph Peters, and irony is not one of his stronger traits. Taking down the whole Arab world with an iron fist is much more his style.
Posted by: Rose | Aug 30 2006 20:22 utc | 11
This serious attempt (the map) to address the aspirations of the people of the Middle East for viable nation-states includes pearls of (not) unintentional irony such as the Arab Shia State (ASS) and the sublime Saudi Homelands Indipendent Territories (SHIT). I wonder why they didn’t think of the Free United Confederation of Kurdistan.
Posted by: B Ark | Aug 31 2006 0:10 utc | 12
Why is it that Westerners fear only one map of the Middle East: the one that they would not draw?
Let them fight each other and then we’ll see lines that make sense.
Posted by: Lennonist | Aug 31 2006 4:16 utc | 13
I wonder why they didn’t think of the Free United Confederation of Kurdistan.
good one
Posted by: annie | Aug 31 2006 8:04 utc | 14
I was rather hoping that this wasn’t the case, Rose. Where are Terry Southern and Stanley Kubrick when we need them? Or Evelyn Waugh, for that matter.
I can hear Peters’ remarks as read by George C. Scott…
the problem is, Dr. Strangelove looks more like a documentary every day with this lot in charge.
Posted by: Anonymous | Aug 31 2006 10:23 utc | 15
And if anyone thinks maps like those are good ideas, I’d like to see one of North America, where Mexico still has California, Colorado, and most of Texas, where Washington to Montana are Indian territories, and the rest is split between Free Florida, a black homeland in Georgia, an independent New England, and the CSA. Where’s the US, you might ask? In a narrow strip from Michigan and Chicago all the way to Washington DC.
Because as we all know, America has a history of ethnic conflict, political strife, and at times it seems that it’s only military power that holds it together.
The only thing that makes us able to think about such redrawing of the map–even good left-friendly people like ourselves–is our immense and awesome power. If Asia held the power, I’d hope they wouldn’t adopt this Victorian lie, that somehow ethnic groups can really be served by cutting up would-be enemies before they get a chance.
I’m not even going into how he must think that an Islamic holy state would be imposed.
Posted by: Lennonist | Aug 31 2006 13:03 utc | 16