Don Rumsfeld is More Popular Than Skittles
But MySpace is More Popular Than G-d
by Peristroika Shalom
API – Monmouth
Thursday, July 19, 2006
The Battle of Yarmouk (also spelled Yarmuk, Yarmuq or Hieromyax) took place between the Muslim
Arabs and the Roman Empire in 636. It is considered by some historians to have been one of the
most significant battles in the history of the world, since it marked the first great wave of
Muslim conquests outside Arabia, and heralded the rapid advance of Islam into Christian Palestine,
Syria and Mesopotamia.
In the late 8th Century, Northumbria was plagued by weak leadership and collapsed into a state
of anarchy caused in part by rivalry between the royal houses of Deira and Bernicia. From 737AD
to 806AD, Northumbria had ten kings: three were murdered, five were expelled and two retired to
become monks. This instability may well have encouraged the first Viking raiders to attack the
Northumbrian coast from 793AD.
The Book of Kells is an ornately illustrated manuscript, produced by Celtic monks around AD 800.
It is widely considered one of the true miracles of the so-called Dark Ages, when Islam was in
its ascendancy, and secular knowledge resided only in Catholic cloisters outside of Arabia.
When Charlemagne died in the 800’s, his European empire was split among his sons, and soon fell
apart into (roughly) the modern states of France and Germany. Italy was ruled by the Lombards
for 400 years, and eastern Europe ruled by the Slavs for nearly 1000.
Throughout this period Europe was plagued by invasions of Vikings from Scandinavia. Some of these
settled in northern France about 1000 AD, and from there invaded England in 1066 and even Sicily.
In the southern Mediterranean and West Asia, the Arab empire also collapsed into smaller kingdoms
ruled by different dynasties. The Turks took over Baghdad, the old capital, and the Fatimid dynasty
took over Egypt. There were small Islamic kingdoms in West Africa, and along the East African coast
Indian and Arab traders brought the Islamic faith.
The First Crusade was launched in 1096
CANON 11 – The Old and New Testaments teach that man has but one rational and intellectual soul.
“Text – While the Old and New Testaments teach that man has one rational and intellectual soul,
and this is the teaching also of all the fathers and doctors of the Church, some persons,
nevertheless, blasphemously maintain that he has two souls. This holy and general council,
therefore, anathematizes the authors and adherents of that false teaching. Anyone presuming
to act contrary to the decision of this great council, shall be anathematized and cut off from
the faith and society of Christians. ca 926”
In 1184, the Synod of Verona legislated that burning at the stake was the official punishment
for heresy. This decree was later reaffirmed by the Fourth Council of the Lateran in 1215, the
Synod of Toulouse in 1229, and numerous spiritual and secular leaders up through the 17th century.
In 1863, Alfred Nobel invented the Nobel patent detonator or blasting cap for detonating
nitroglycerin and dynamite.
1905 Special theory of relativity – German-born physicist Albert Einstein introduces his
special theory of relativity, which states that the laws of nature are the same for all
observers and that the speed of light is not dependent on the motion of its source. The most
celebrated result of his work is the mathematical formula E=mc2, or energy equals mass multiplied
by the speed of light squared, which demonstrates that mass can be converted into nuclear energy.
Ronald Reagan defeated incumbent President Jimmy Carter to win the election of 1980; his coattails
carried in the first Republican-controlled U.S. Senate in 26 years. His economic policy of supply-side
economics, popularly known as “Reaganomics”, is noted for a 25% cut in the income tax, reduction in
inflation, reduction in interest rates, increased military spending, increased deficits and national
debt, a temporary solution to the Social Security issue, elimination of loopholes in the tax code,
continued deregulation of business, and produced a sharp recession in 1981-1982, with the Savings &
Loan debacle, the first salvo of so-called high-yield economics theory.
1986 Chernobyl – The Chernobyl nuclear disaster occurs in Ukraine during unauthorized experiments
when four pressurized-water reactors overheat, releasing their water coolant as steam. The hydrogen
formed by the steam causes two major explosions and a fire, releasing radioactive particles into the
atmosphere that drift over much of the European continent.
2003 The Bush Administration commits War Crimes against the Islamic populations of the world.
2006 Israel, responding to the capture of just three soldiers, touches off the End of the World
by simultaneously attacking all its Islamic neighbors in all-out Soviet-style retribution.
Thank G-d, it’s over!
[Fx – Visual of Slim Pickens riding down the Bomb in Dr. Strangelove]

Posted by: peristroika shalom | Jul 15 2006 5:43 utc | 1