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July 16, 2006
WB: An Eliza Doolittle Moment
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Quid Pro Quo for Slick Chick
WH: [Ring, ring]
KH: “Alo? Ma ha-inyanim?”
WH: “Ehud, this is George. How’s by you?”
KH: “Beseder, todah. Bevakasha.”
WH: “Listen, we have a little favor to ask you.
You need to push the Al Intifada’s buttons more.”
KH: “Al tagid li shtuioth, goyem mashugina!”
WH: (GWB: “What did he say?” — Aide: “He said, “Of course, sir!”)
“Wonderful, Ehud! I want you to fake a Gaza kidnapping, and then
expose your northern flank with uncovered patrols in mined areas.”
KH: “Oiy, veh!” (unintelligible conversation in the background)
WH: “Ehud, are you still there?”
KH: “We must not talk openly of these things. Please use The Code.”
WH: “OK, we need you to ‘lift heels against the son of wickedness’
to your north, Al Bahhell Oz. UNSC 1559 allows US to pre-emptively
‘support’ the Lebanese government with arms, warplanes and even
interdict supplies from other ‘sons of wickedness’ to the east.
Do you understand what I’m saying? We can end it with one thrust.”
KH: “Why would you strut your tongue through the earth, hard forehead?”
WH: (GWB: “What did he say? I can’t find that in my Knesset Code Book?)
(Aide comes to phone:) “Sir, the President promises the people of Israel,
his banner over you will be love when Al Bahhell Oz’s lamp has gone out,
then joy will crown your heads, and you shall suck the milk of nations.”
KH: (unintelligible conversation in the background)
“So what you’re saying is, ,your elections are coming, and Israel needs
to shoot off some fireworks as agents provocateurs, to take your heat?”
WH: “Yes, something like that. There’s big money in it for you!”
KH: “My ears are uncircumcised, and I dare not drink your wine of wrath.”
WH: (whispering from Karl: “Try another tack, talk about their future.”)
“You want Al Gore and the DNC at the head of the United States in 2008?”
KH: (long fateful pause) “So, then gird up your loins, it’s done. And how
shall we effect the exchange of milk and honey of nations to our accounts?”
(hushed voices in background, “Danny, make it happen. Find a lamb to kill.”)
GH: “I’m glad we could come to agreement, Ehud. My people will call your people.”
(hushed voices in background, “Karl, release the media hounds. The hunt’s on!”)
Sound of ‘Had a Little Chickie’ playing on George’s incoming cell phone call.
“Dick? Hey, guess what!! We did it! Just listen:”
[TEXT MESSAGE]
“Oh, I had a little chickie
And she wouldn’t lay an egg
So I poured hot water up and down her leg
And the little chickie cried and the little chickie begged
And the little chickie laid a hard boiled egg.
Dunt duddle unt dunt, slick chick!”
“Yee, haw! we’re back in the saddle in November!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Posted by: Anonymous | Jul 16 2006 23:12 utc | 2
Newt Gingrich just declared on Meet the Press this is World War III.
Posted by: Anonymous | Jul 17 2006 0:09 utc | 3
President George W. Bush’s
Address to the Nation Upon Announcing His Decision To Declare War on Iran
Tuesday October 31, 2006
Good evening, my fellow Americans:
I speak to you this evening about very important developments in our search for peace in the Middle East.
We have been engaged in discussions with the legitimate governments of Egypt, Syria and Israel in Paris
since mid-July when fighting broke out, as Israel attempted to defend herself against Hamas and Hezbollah
terrorist acts. The discussions began after I announced on the evening of July 31st in a television speech
to the Nation that the United States — in an effort to get talks started on a settlement of the Arab-Israeli
war– had started the carpet bombing of Beruit, Lebanon, in the area where a great number of civilians live.
Nothing brings non-compliant rogue states to the table like a good carpet bombing.
When our representatives–Ambassador Bolton and Ambassador Jones–were sent to Paris, they were instructed
to insist throughout the discussions that the legitimate elected Government of Lebanon must take its place
in any negotiations affecting the future disbandment of Hezbollah and the legitimacy of the Israeli State.
Therefore, our ambassadors made it abundantly clear to the representatives of Lebanon, Syria and Iran in the
beginning that–as I had indicated on July 31st — we would begin the carpet bombing of Lebanese territory
when that would lead to prompt and productive terrorist disarmament, meaning by that talks in which the
Government of Lebanon was free to participate and sign an accord condemning Hezbollah and recognizing Israel.
Our ambassadors also stressed that we could not stop the bombing so long as by doing so we would endanger the
lives and the safety of our advisors, who have been sent to the region to assist the Government of Lebanon.
For a good many weeks, there was no movement in the talks at all. The talks appeared to really be deadlocked.
Then a few weeks ago, they entered a new and a very much more distressing phase with the escalating violence.
As we moved ahead, I conducted a series of very intensive discussions with our allies, and with the senior
military and diplomatic officers of the Israeli, er, United States Government, on the prospects for peace.
The President also briefed our congressional leaders and all of the mid-term Congressional candidates.
Last Sunday evening, and throughout Monday, we began to get confirmation of the essential understanding that
we had been seeking with the Lebanese leadership on the critical issues between us for some time. I spent most
of all day Tuesday reviewing every single detail of this matter with our field commander, General Tommy Tompkins,
whom I had ordered home, and who arrived here at the White House at 2:30 in the morning and went into immediate
conference with the President and the appropriate members of his Cabinet.
We received Ambassador Bolton’s final judgment and we heard his recommendations at some length.
Therefore, as a result of all of these developments, I have now ordered that an all-out air, naval, and artillery
bombardment of Syria and Iran begin as of 8 a.m., Washington time, Friday morning, November 3rd, Election Day.
I have reached this decision on the basis of the failure of progressive developments in the Paris talks.
And I have reached it in the belief that this action can lead to progress toward a peaceful settlement of the
Middle East wars.
I am also directing that the Director of the Selective Service Commission immediately initiate the process of
renewing the military draft. Effective immediately, America’s borders are sealed to US citizens who are of
military draft age. Any US citizen of draft age who has not registered for the draft will be subject to an
immediate apprehension and arrest. Any US citizen of draft age attempting to leave the country or disguise
their whereabouts from the draft will be immediately incarcerated until they can be processed and deployed.
As the nation reluctantly goes to war, I am directing that all blue-collar Americans, so essential to the
continued military production of the United States, remain at their jobs on Friday, and those who still may
wish to vote in the 2006 mid-term elections, are encouraged to file mail-in ballots when the war is over.
It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months.
I have devoted every resource of the Presidency to the search for peace in the Middle East. We have brought
democracy to Afghanistan and Iraq, and now begins our Great Journey together to bring democracy to the Axis
of Evil in Syria and Iran, and then to the entire Islamic world except Saudi, Qatar and Brunei. I have made
it abundantly clear that no one nation would have the advantage over others in the Neo World–either Israel
or the Arab countries, but affirm once again Israel’s right to defend herself.
Thank you for listening. Good night and God bless all of you.
Whatever you do, don’t forget to vote American by voting Republican, those who may leave their work stations.
Posted by: Anonymous | Jul 17 2006 1:55 utc | 4
Some of these stuck up fanciful girlies, have to sleep on the cold hard ground or in a gutter full of water in December, to get the message.
A couple nights of that, generally takes the fire right out of them.
Anyone needs kitchen help, one ought to become available in a couple days.
She ain’t really worth all that much, and I won’t charge too much.
Posted by: ‘enry Higgins Employment Agency | Jul 17 2006 2:18 utc | 5
Putin has managed to pull off a coup that outdoes even his Soviet predecessors: whereas they a presence on the diplomatic scene only because of their military strength and economic aid, Putin has made a major player out of Russia due to its political position and its strength as an energy exporter.
Posted by: ralphieboy | Jul 17 2006 20:15 utc | 7