Moon of Alabama Brecht quote
April 28, 2006
The Locksmith Made Me Torch My Neighbor’s House

Your Honor,

let me first thank you for the opportunity to defend myself.

I am here accused of having burnt down my neighbor’s house.

Did I do so? Did I set fire on my neighbor’s house?

Sure, I did. And I have never tried to hide that fact. Did this fire catch other houses too? Yes it did and I am really sorry it took down your house too, but then, yours, like the others, was an old and crumbling houses anyway.

But that is all not to the point. I am the wrong one to be accused here and that is why I reject any guilt in this case.

The only one who should be here in handcuffs and indicted is the locksmith. He is guilty of catastrophic mischief.

Let me tell you why.

I was always suspicious of my neighbor. He obviously didn´t like me building that new wall because, so he said, I didn´t raise it on my own ground.

My neighbor even said, it would be better if I would just move away. That was quite threatening to me. Why would he ask for this? Just because my kids bully around a bit? Or just because of some stupid wall?

So I had reason to fear that this threatening neighbor might be preparing something bad, or outright criminal, like a stink bomb in my garden or even to tear down that wall – or worse.

Indeed said neighbor was observed using candles. Though he says those were for lighting, I was always suspicious he might intend to use them for something else.

Now what about the locksmith you may ask. Why should he be rightfully accused as I hereby demand?

Let me explain.

While my neighbor was dangerously lighting candles in his house, there was always the chance for me to just jump over the wall, rush into his house and to brush him up some. I always had the ability to go into his house and to dust up his furniture a bit, if you will, and to take away those candles and matches.

But a few days ago this changed. Aforesaid neighbor was seen talking to the locksmith and it was heard that the locksmith did promise to sell him locks. With such locks my neighbor would have possibly locked up his house.

To my knowledge, and thanks to god, those locks were yet not delivered, at the time of my deed, but there was this serious risk that they might get installed later on.

Just imagine that situation. With locks on my neighbors house, how would I have had any future chance to storm in and prevent him from burning candles? And from using matches?

So by selling locks to my neighbor, the locksmith made it impossible for me to keep control over future circumstances near to my home. All this while my neighbor was bad-mouthing me.

There was only one chance left and I had to act immediately. I had to torch down my neighbors house before he would be able to lock it up. If those locks would ever have been into place, to then try to get in would have been just too risky.

So please accuse and condemn the locksmith, he percipitated all of this. Send him to jail, deprive him of his rights. But don´t you dare to put any guilt on me for doing what just had to be done.

Thank you

That, dear MoA reader, is an argumentation few lawyers and judges would defend or accept.

But there are U.S. law professors who argue that the arsonist in the above case is fully justified. That, indeed, he had to set fire to his neighbors home. And that the locksmith should be prosecuted.

Today, Rosa Brooks, professor at the University of Virginia School of Law and op-ed writer for the Los Angeles Times is propag(and)ating such logic:

LET ME TELL YOU about the next war.

It will start sooner than you think — sometime between now and September. And it will be precipitated by the $700-million Russian deal this week to sell Tor air defense missile systems to Iran.

When the war begins, it will be between Iran and Israel.
Before it ends, though, it may set the whole of the Middle East on fire, pulling in the United States, leaving a legacy of instability that will last for generations and permanently ending a century of American supremacy.
[…]
Iran’s nuclear facilities are dispersed and well-concealed, making a preemptive Israeli strike far more difficult this time around. But there’s no reason to doubt Israel’s willingness to try.

Of course, there’s no firm evidence that Iran has offensive nuclear capabilities. And even a successful military strike against Iran would be a risky move for Israel, potentially igniting regionwide instability.
[…]
But Russian brinksmanship is about to remove Israel’s incentive to pursue a peaceful diplomatic path.
[…]
The upcoming deployment of Tor missiles around Iranian nuclear sites dramatically changes the calculus in the Middle East, and it significantly increases the risk of a regional war. Once the missile systems are deployed, Iran’s air defenses will become far more sophisticated, and Israel will likely lose whatever ability it now has to unilaterally destroy Iran’s nuclear facilities.

The clock is ticking for Israel. To have a hope of succeeding, any unilateral Israeli strike against Iran must take place before September, when the Tor missile deployment is set to be completed.

Assuming for a moment that her scenario is correct, what is professor Brooks solution to the situation?

Should Israel be restrained from starting a war and "ending a century of American supremacy?"

Should the President put some pressure on Prime Minister Olmert to prevent such an unliateral attack?

Of course not, Rosa Brooks argues. The only one to possibly blame here is the locksmith, i.e. the Russians. And there is the immediate need to use some sticks and carrots to make them stop their "catastrophic mischief".

A quiet but firm U.S. threat to boycott the G-8 summit in July in St. Petersburg might inspire Russian President Vladimir V. Putin to freeze the missile transfer. And a promise to facilitate Russian entry into the World Trade Organization might even get Russia’s oil and gas oligarchs on board.
[…]
Unfortunately, the Bush administration appears to be asleep at the wheel, too distracted by Iraq, skyrocketing gas prices and plummeting approval ratings to devote any attention to Russia’s potentially catastrophic mischief.

Brooks argues that Country A, selling a defensive weapon system to country B, to discourage an unlawful unilaterally attack by country C, should somehow be responsible for such an attack.

An argument of such third-party culpability for a war might have some justification, if some country A sells weapons for obvious offensive use, like long range F-16I’s and "bunker buster" bombs.  It is the equivalent of selling flamethrowers to those grumbling neighbors.

But to argue for punishing the locksmith is purely partisan, illogical and exposes a frightening disregard for any legal objectivity.

Comments

X-posted at Dkos – please recommend.

Posted by: b | Apr 28 2006 13:05 utc | 1

Bernhard, Bernhard, Bernhard…..
It’s a nice tale, but your analysis is way off.
For one thing, you are missing half of the story: the part about me — I am a good friend of the jumpy homeowner who burnt down the houses; so good that I even help him out with money and matches from time to time — and MY problems with the crotchety old farmer down the dead-end road, all the way past the other side of town, in the country.
Now, anybody can see clearly that it is not the locksmith to blame, but the crazy farmer, and you didn’t even mention him in your analysis.
Let me explain: Even before this altercation between the homeowner and his neighbor, the crazy old farmer down the road, who never even had electricity, got tired of using candles, and decided to upgrade to a kerosine lantern.
But first, he went into town, and in his funny little voice, started braying to anyone who listened that he liked kerosine lanterns and that he was actually going to learn how to build one. Well, I tell you, that funny little man couldn’t even feed his family properly (a number of them had actually starved to death!), and his neighbors didn’t think much of him either, so I hardly noticed what was happening all the way over past the other side of town.
When he caused a little fire on his own ramshackle property, I must admit that I got a little uneasy, but really I had much more important things to think about, what with my paranoid friend always asking for money and waking me up all hours of the night with his “the sky is falling” nightmares.
Then, the farmer went into town drunk one night and started bragging to anyone who would listen — which was hardly anyone, as you can imagine — that he was going to learn how to build himself a kerosine lantern. Well, I heard about it, but to tell you the truth, I hardly took him seriously.
It was some time later that he arrived in town, drunk again, and claimed that not only had he suceeded in building several kerosine lanterns, but that he had hid them carefully around his rundown piece of property, even under a mountain, so that no one could take them away from him.
Now, I became concerned. I told my whole family, at our annual pow-wow, that he was one of our three worst enemies. I even made up a name for them, the “axis of bad neighbors.” A lot of my clan had never even heard of him, and certainly couldn’t find his farm on a map, but I made damn sure that they were all good and scared of him.
His property was surrounded by three large wealthy landowners to the west, north and east. I was very good friends with his neighbor to the east, who had been his landlord before he owned the property outright — and never liked this country bumpkin — and I knew the other landowners too. I also knew his neighbor to the south very well, so well, in fact, that some of my children have stayed on that farm for, oh I guess it must be fifty years now.
Well, I tried to get them all together to talk about what a threat he was posing to the whole town, and how “we” needed to band together and do something about it. But, it was really strange I tell you, none of his neighbors were very concerned about the danger he and his kerosine lanterns posed. And the crazy old farmer insisted on talking about the problem with me alone. He said that it was I who was threatening him, even though I live way across town from him. Talk about turning the tables.
Now, I have been making a big stink about the way the little creep dissed me to anyone who would listen, but frankly most of the other people in MY town are too busy with their own problems to get involved. I’m actually starting to think that maybe I didn’t handle this whole thing too well, though honestly I had very few options. I mean, he had big strong me backed into a corner with all his talk about kerosine lanterns. He certainly was not about to let me and a few inspectors onto his property to take his kerosine lamps away from him.
Well, anyway, all this is just background to understanding your story. You see, after my paranoid friend that you tell about saw that I couldn’t handle even a little peasant farmer’s threats, he really started to flip out. He began thinking that little children playing near his house were dangerous, and began shooting at them with rubber, and even real, bullets. He built the wall that you talk about.
But what’s worse, all the other poor nuts who own a few dry stinky little acres decided that they want to get kerosine lanterns too. They somehow think, in their perverted logic, that it would actually make them safer. Talk about seeing a little light in the darkness! That’s what led the neighbor in your story to get his candles. And he too would like a kerosine lantern, and swears that he will use it for peaceful purposes only. Well, everyone knows what kerosine lanterns were really designed for.
Everyone but me, that is. You see, I found another friend on the other side of town — who I give work too a bit these days because he is reliable and works so cheaply — and I have agreed to teach him more about making kerosine lanterns. All as long as he lets me see his lantern collection whenever I want, which I think makes my gift to him much more reasonable, don’t you?
Anyway, I’m just trying to tell you how it really went down. After my troubles with the crazy old farmer over his kerosine lanterns I was feeling depressed. So I picked a fight with another poor farmer. He too had once wanted kerosine lanterns, but my little friend took care of that conceit very handily one night. He was insisting that he didn’t even have candles on his farm, but I KNEW he did. Anyway, he was a sniveling old man, and I didn’t think it would be much of a fight. A little “shock and awe,” I thought would be all I needed to prevail. (“It would be a cakewalk”, I recall thinking.) Then I could steal all his money and return home.
Well, that little fight I picked, which many said I didn’t have to and really shouldn’t have, has turned into the mother of all struggles. We are still going at it to this day. My family is not happy with me, and says I showed bad judgement. Some even say that I should be seeing a therapist and that I am a “dry drunk.” Shows what they know — I don’t even drink anymore. Now my neighbors don’t want anything to do with me, and my friends avoid me when I go to town.
This whole brouhaha has just served to push my paranoid friend over the proverbial edge. None of his neighbors like him and he feels very isolated. He claims that I no longer listen to him or have enough time for his needs, and to tell the truth, some of my family members have started publicly saying that I listen to him way too much for my own good. But he is my friend and what are friends for, if not to fight together against bad neighbors?
So you see, my whole problem with the crazy farmer led to my friend’s problem with his neighbor. His neighbor used to listen to me more and respect me. But, I seem to have become like Rodney Dangerfield in town now. I don’t get any RESPECT.
So now the neighbor doesn’t listen to my friend either. And my buddy is just a little guy. He will really have to burn down the whole town if he wants any respect. And I understand that. In fact I told him that the only way to conquer his fears, is to confront them. And burning down the whole town certainly sounds like a confrontation to me!
But I hope you see now that the locksmith is really peripheral to the tale.
It all started with a crazy farmer, down a dead end road, all the way over on the other side of town.
Who knew?

Posted by: Malooga | Apr 28 2006 14:43 utc | 2

Incandescent, Malooga.

Posted by: beq | Apr 28 2006 15:10 utc | 3

Nice one Malooga – could we spin this into a book?
What really did upset me is that Rosa Brooks, the author, is some kind of librul

Her experience includes service as a senior advisor at the U.S. State Department’s Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights and Labor, as a consultant for the Open Society Institute and Human Rights Watch, as a board member of Amnesty International USA, and as a lecturer at Yale Law School. Her government and NGO work has involved extensive travel and field research on issues such as transitional justice in Iraq, Indonesia and Kosovo and child soldiers in Uganda and Sierra Leone.
Brooks is the author of numerous scholarly articles on international law, human rights, and the law of war, and her book, “Can Might Make Rights? The Rule of Law After Military Interventions” (with Jane Stromseth and David Wippman), will be published in 2006 by Cambridge University Press.

“scholarly articles on international law, human rights, and the law of war” – I bet ya.

Posted by: b | Apr 28 2006 18:09 utc | 4

“libruls” are the most dangerous. They believe in implementing empire stealthily, sensitively, and in killing more efficiently. They will stand up for capitalism even more vociferously because they believe that their brand of it is better.
Look at that resume. “The State Department’s Bureau of Democracy?” How much more Orwellian can one get? The website features Rice’s statements supporting Human Rights; that should tell you everything you need to know. Why don’t they have Rice’s latest photo-op with her new “friend,” the thuglet, Teodoro Obiang Nguema, from Equuatorial Guinea. This department is basically the propaganda wing of State, functioning to embarrass our offical enemies and extoll our official puppets. Then there is George Soros’ Open Society, better termed “Making Central Asia safe for American investment under the ruse of the Democracy fetish.” The new improved version of “The Great Game.” And her NGO work on “transitional justice”, cleaning up the detritus left among the “pacified” by past wars for empire. Look at the list of countries: all victims of our liberation from the forces of socialism or worse, now made safe for US capital. What justice was there, transitional or otherwise, by our involvement with Indonesia, where we are directly implicated in a civil war which killed more than a million. She was probably one of the stealth members of AI and HRW working hard to pervert their agenda from within.
Ach, my head aches from even thinking about her. Give me an honest thug like Cheney or Rummy any day. Nobody’s fooled by their utterings.

Posted by: Malooga | Apr 29 2006 2:29 utc | 5