WB: What Friends Are For
Billmon:Whittington added that that he has offered to reimburse the vice president for the full cost of the hunting trip, including the wasted birdshot.
Posted by b on February 19, 2006 at 7:40 UTC | Permalink
Addendum, "I was always astonished at the extraordinary good nature and lack of malice with which men who had been flogged spoke of their beatings and of those who had inflicted them..."-Dostoevsky (Memoirs From the House of the Dead)
Posted by: Uncle $cam | Feb 19 2006 15:04 utc | 2
The hair trigger and scattergun approach and going off 'half cocked' has been the hallmark of this administration. The pellet near Wittinghams heart is known as collateral damage.
Posted by: pb | Feb 19 2006 17:33 utc | 3
Sorry about the ton of ham.
Wittington. Talk about going off halfcocked, dammit.
Posted by: pb | Feb 19 2006 17:38 utc | 4
Love the line from Hagel that Cheney would have learned gun safety if he hadn't used all those deferments.
I wonder if it's too late for Big Time to actually develop some empathy for those army folk that don't want to shoot Iraquis for no compelling reason.
Posted by: canucklehead | Feb 19 2006 17:39 utc | 5
Meanwhile, in a hermetically sealed bunker restroom, 10,000 feet below a cliff-face located 374.76 km north of Butte Montana in the newly annexed Albertalands, Big Time is standing at a gleaming urinal, waiting..... always waiting.......
Enter the off-the-books, ultra-secret, super-sweeper from the local NSA office.
The Sweeper: Commander, we've picked up a piece, purportedly from the Oakland Tribune, belittling the incident.
Big Time: So, f*@king what? A million bloody papers have written about that. Jesus H. Christ!
The Sweeper: Yes, but this time, they brought up the money, sir.
Big Time: Bastards! Who owns that piece of crap?
The Sweeper: Those people in Denver, the ones that made the deal with Gannett.
Big Time: Gannett? Aren't they the ones that raised all that 'inconsistency' garbage in their national ass-wipe organ last week?
The Sweeper has finished doing his own business with the urinal and he has zipped up; Big Time is still waiting.....
The Sweeper: Yes, sir.
Big Time: We will screw them; we will screw them and all the screwheads that ever worked for them! No more mergers and they will never get another story from the WHIG again. Never, ever!
The Sweeper: Well, we are trying to get a fix on one particularly shadowy figure that may have started all of this sir, but it has been extremely difficult to pin-down the individual involved. They now seem to be operating outside of all the usual commercial and political boundaries.
Big Time tries flushing the urinal, thinking that maybe, just maybe, it might get the flow moving. It does not.....
Big Time: Are you talking about one of those scumbagged two-bit, tin-plated wordsmiths that are hiding out in the deepest reaches of the fever swamps that we haven't been able to reach yet?
The Sweeper: Yes sir. And there is one other problem, sir. It's an old one that we haven't been able to kill.
Big Time: An old one?
The Sweeper: Yes sir. And it has echos all the way back to the days when a former Tribune editor had the gall to bring in that Hillbilly from Louisville on......(and here The Sweeper's voice lowers to a whisper).....on Iran/Contra.
Big Time groans. He can feel a deep tightening down there, and he now knows that it will be hours before he can let go of his lunchtime beer, or seven....
BigTime: You're talking about that a-hole Burgin, aren't you?
The Sweeper: It's worse than that, sir.
BigTime: How can it possibly be worse than that? We took care of all that. That scum-sucking cretin Thompson is dead, right?
The Sweeper has kept his eyes down the entire time but now his gaze nervously drifts from his own shoes towards the too-tight oxfords of The Commander standing next to him. He can't help but notice the flecks of glistening spittle spattered all over the toes....
The Sweeper: Well, yes of course, sir. At least the flesh and blood is gone.
Big Time: What the hell are you talking about, you stupid, worthless techno-dope?
The Sweeper: Well, sir, we're starting to pick up, uh, Doppler Echos.
Big Time: Doppler Echos? Christ almighty!
The Sweeper: Exactly, sir. The info waves have already started to compress and crest; our latest algorithms predict a trillion terabyte convergence that will hit the MSM in approximately 13.4 newscycles.
Big Time: Call our Network you fool! Get Roger to clear the godddamn decks. We'll go 36 hours, non-stop, with that pansy-boy Britt Ecklund immediately. We can even resurrect Morton The Downer Jr. and first abduct, then cgi in, that traitor Cronkite if we have to. We must cut this s&#t-hammer off at the knees.
The Sweeper (making strangled, gurgling noises in his throat before he finally blurts out): It's not possible, sir.
Big Time: Not possible! Shut the hell up you stupid weasel!
Big Time begins to rhythmically pound both fists down on the top of the urinal. In an instant, the SS minders jump The Sweeper and smash his head against the wall. As he is led, bleeding, from the gleaming room, The Sweeper has one last thing to say....
The Sweeper: It can't be stopped sir. There is no focal point; it's coming from everywhere, and the fever swamps are expanding exponentially.
BigTime begins to hyperventilate. He is still pounding his fists on the urinal and his face is going purple as he starts to scream....
BigTime: Shut them down! Shut them all down!!!!!
.
Thanks for that RossK, I'll be sending that to a few friends...lol
Along w/ my new sig in all my e-mails:
Note:
Due to Presidential Executive Orders, the National Security Agency may have read this email without warning, warrant, or notice. They may do this without any judicial or legislative oversight. You have no recourse nor protection save to call for the impeachment of the current President ...lol
Posted by: Uncle $cam | Feb 20 2006 2:25 utc | 7
Cross-posted above (with expanders) over at my place......and wouldn't you know it, the NSA sniffers have already arrived.
Which is just fine with me, because when all the lists come out... I wanna be like Danny Schorr, not shout-out like HST!
RossK - that was a great post, and I will pass it along into the wilds.
It reminds me of the inevitability of that great movie "Frequency" where two timelines slowly converged.
Posted by: Owl | Feb 20 2006 10:01 utc | 10
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"the gentleman from Wyoming"...
The gentleman from Wyoming? Hahaha...
The categorical imperative is the philosophical concept central to the moral philosophy of Immanuel Kant and to modern deontological ethics of which, "the gentleman from Wyoming", has none.
Posted by: Uncle $cam | Feb 19 2006 14:35 utc | 1