—
MR. McCLELLAN: Sinjay?
Q Now that the BJP government in Assam State has been voted out of office, what impact does the President expect the upcoming elections to have on the Multi-Fibre Agreement negotiations on underwear tariffs currently underway in the Doha round of the World Trade . . .
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September 22, 2005
WB: Hurricane Force +
Comments
Well, I guess I needed that … I really did, it’s been so gloomy and panicky out there. Reading this brightened my spirits. It’s such a pleasure. Thanks!
Posted by: Trilby | Sep 22 2005 21:05 utc | 4
I just put a clear plastic bag over my laptop before I read posts like this. Already fried the Motherboard once…..
b , who is Les?
btw, have i mentioned how much i appreciate you/moon lately, take a bow, round of applause, a toast to you
Posted by: annie | Sep 22 2005 21:37 utc | 6
Exclusive!! Rita is Terrorist Agent! Duck ‘n’ Cover, Y’all!
“Hurricane Rita ties to Al Qaida alleged. Nukes considered”
[P! News Service; Sept. 22, 2004]
Top FEMA (Fucked-Up eMess Agency) and Homeland Insecurity officials today urged the Pentagon to deploy tactical nuclear weapons against Hurricane Rita, saying it was obvious that the monster storm, as well as its predecessor Katrina, were al Qaida-generated attacks against Gulf Coast oil resources. These unnamed officials also spoke of Katrina as a “Taliban/Shi’ite blow against the right of American women to expose their breasts and eat spicy pork and shrimp at the same meal.”
Posted by: Uncle $cam | Sep 22 2005 21:56 utc | 8
Ten years ago that would have been too broad, but today: JUST RIGHT! These people are damn near parody-proof.
Posted by: eftsoons | Sep 22 2005 22:43 utc | 9
While my above post was obvious satire this one is most certainly not:
Pentagon Pulls Draft That Discusses Pre-Emptive Use Of Nukes From Website
Posted by: Uncle $cam | Sep 22 2005 22:44 utc | 10
Heres one for the vip Hurricane Drink Recipe
2 ounces amber rum
1/4 cup passion fruit juice, or 1 tablespoon passion fruit syrup
1 teaspoon superfine sugar
1/2 teaspoon grenadine
Juice of 1/2 lime
Cherries and orange slice to garnish
Ice cubes
In a cocktail shaker mix the rum, passion fruit juice and sugar until sugar is dissolved. Add the grenadine, and lemon juice and stir to combine. Add the ice cubes and shake. Strain Hurricane into a cocktail glass. Garnish with orange and cherries. Yield: 1 serving
Bring it on!
Cheers!
Posted by: Uncle $cam | Sep 22 2005 23:06 utc | 11
Wonderful.
I hear that McClellan may calling you for public speaking lessons, Billmon.
Post of the Year 2005.
Posted by: Night Owl | Sep 22 2005 23:17 utc | 12
It feels like a Friday, so I’ll leave you with this Billmon tribute:
“This [picture] is believed to be of a group that includes many of the members of a gang called the Blue Bills. This picture was taken between 2002-2008. Books have been published about what went on in the United States in the early 2000’s, all the feuding and fighting.
The story tells of a group or gang of ‘well-meaning’ Republicans of the so-called ‘Red States’ who decided to take the law into their own hands and punish people who this gang thought were un-fit citizens. The gang called themselves the Red Caps. They wore red caps that covered their faces while they carried out the punishment they decided need to be given.
Many people knew who these men were, many of them being well-known businessmen, religious leaders and Congressmen. At first many people approved of this gang. But as time passed the gang started beating up people who had done nothing wrong, imposing illegal tariffs and even stealing their land. Even though most of the American people didn’t like what was going on, they were afraid to speak up against the activities of the Red Caps, especially after the President of the United States because an active member of the Red Cap gang himself.
Soon the things the Red Caps did, like killing people, spending the general account into deficit, bribery of public officials and even Supreme Court judges, kickbacks and sweetheart deals to cronies and stealing poor people’s property by eminent domain, intensified.
Then Paul Wellstone, a young Democrat living in Eveleth, Minnesota organized a gang to oppose the Red Caps. This gang was called the Blue Bills. Their name came from the caps worn by this gang that was blue in color, not covering their faces.
Many (unpublicized) battles that took place in the US between these two groups were lost to history. In 2002 someone disabled a plane that Paul Wellstone was flying in and he was killed, similar to the plane crash that killed JFK Jr, the only son of a famous Democrat US president. A unknown Red Cap had wired the plane to crash, but no one was ever convicted of this killing.
Paul Wellstone was accredited with being brave and fearless and for bringing terror to the White House and bringing about an ending to the activities of the Red Caps, through a growing national movement of true Americans. Local members of the Red Caps gang were convicted, sentenced and euthanized for domestic and war crimes they committed, but no Red Caps on Capitol Hill were ever charged or convicted of the crimes they had perpetrated against the American People.
Those former Capital Hill Red Caps retired on government pensions,
and went on to double-dip careers as captains of defense industry. Blue Bills were never able to reduce a single nickel of public money spent by those Red Caps on so-called ‘national defense’ and ‘homeland security’, even though everyone knew it was just a scam, and everyone hoped that money would be better spend on rebuilding a New America.
God, however, looked the other way. A whole legion of Red Caps was rising up, halfway around the world, and he wanted to hedge His bet.”
(The Red Caps of Sevier County: A Story of a Feud Between the Red Caps and the Blue Bills; Cas Walker. Knoxville, TN. Copyright 2018)
– – – – – –
Good luck and God speed to everyone in Rita’s path!
Posted by: tante aime | Sep 22 2005 23:56 utc | 14
Uncle- lots of copies of that pentagon nuke doc already mirrored. start at the memory hole.
Posted by: b real | Sep 23 2005 1:35 utc | 15
After the experience of numerous cyclone watches I hope that Rita is going to like 90% of these events and blow itself out before it hits land or any population centre.
And not because I want to deny BushCo the opportunity to make themselves appear in control of the uncontrollable. It doesn’t matter how chastened that mob is I find it difficult to swallow that in the space of 2 weeks the federal govt can undertake a complete rethink and revamp. I’m sure it’s be spun like that but if this thing does get into the population a lot of people are going to be hurt no matter how on top of this FEMA is.
THere’s a story in today’s Counterpunch informing us of the nuclear power plants and thermonuclear devices bang smack in the middle of Rita’s path. “How ya gonna spin that W?”
Posted by: Debs is dead | Sep 23 2005 1:39 utc | 16
I’m confused. Are they eliminating the knowledge of the policy from the public, or eliminating the policy?
Posted by: jj | Sep 23 2005 2:23 utc | 17
the former. they never really eliminate policies, just people.
Posted by: b real | Sep 23 2005 2:35 utc | 18
Are they eliminating the knowledge of the policy from the public, or eliminating the policy?
c’mon j you know better than that
Posted by: annie | Sep 23 2005 2:50 utc | 19
A Thousand Points of Light
George Bush Sr: “I have spoken of a thousand points of light, of all the community organizations that are spread like stars throughout the Nation, doing good. We will work on this in the White House, in the Cabinet agencies. I will ask every member of my government to become involved. The old ideas are timeless: duty, sacrifice, commitment, and a patriotism that finds its expression in taking part and pitching in.”
George Bush Jr: A thousand points of light… winking out forever.
Dick Cheney: A thousand points higher on his HAL-KBR stock options and deferred compensation.
Condi Rice: Too busy shopping for $3000 boots, to give even $3 to ‘you people’ in New Orleans.
Donald Rumsfeld: Pitching in, pitching US into a thousand times greater debacle than Viet Nam.
Tom DeLay: Too busy pork-barrel jerry-mandering a thousand ways to take even one questions from the plebs.
Scott MacClellan: A thousand times better than Ari Fleischer, but in a duffus, slap-stick way.
Michael Chertoff: A thousand times more dangerous to US than he was prosecuting the mob.
Federal Deficits: A thousand times worse than George Bush Sr, who was a thousand times worse than Ronald Reagan, godfather of the murder of a thousand-thousand lights, all around the world.
And then comes Rita….
Posted by: tante aime | Sep 23 2005 6:19 utc | 20
night owl…. where the hoot have you been?
Don’t get around as much as I’d like lately.
Posted by: Night Owl | Sep 23 2005 7:48 utc | 21
tante aime, I enjoyed your scenario. Kinda like that Bruce Sterling science fiction story where finally a decent American leader arises after the country has fallen into troubled times.
The leader has a three-ring rock and roll show/political rally tour that energizes the fallen States.
Then a fellow comes to interview him for an influential Middle East newspaper or magazine.
The journalist offers some great cocaine to help the interview along, it is late at night after the concert.
The blow is excellent, the leader lays out his plans. Both the leader and the journalist die the following morning because the cocaine is poisoned. It is a suicide attack.
Anyway, narratives are powerful. Sterling raises our hopes about the kind of leader that could gain a popular voice then shows how easily they could be defeated. Put not your faith in leaders, they say.
Personally I kinda hope that there could be a leader worth paying attention to, but those skills are hard to come by it seems. A movement with a spokesperson, that might work. Spokes people I guess.
I wonder what Hari Seldon would say about our time? Too bad Isaac Asimov is dead.
Posted by: jonku | Sep 23 2005 8:01 utc | 22
@annie
Les is crazy radio reporter/show host who is often asking some irrelevant questinons during the White House press gaggle and mostly doesn´t get any answer (well, who does get answers there).
Holden of FirstDraft likes to document his questions – example:
Q Follow-up. World Net Daily reports that despite the devastation and suffering by so many thousands in New Orleans, there was a homosexual parade called “southern decadence.” Does the President believe this is tolerable or —
MR. McCLELLAN: I want to finish on the military. The military is doing an outstanding job in search and rescue and ongoing humanitarian efforts, and we’re greatly appreciative of the many men and women in the region, from the National Guard to reserve to active duty —
hahaha… b, I heard this guy on the al frankin show, he was quite the brite but, quirky one…
Posted by: Uncle $cam | Sep 23 2005 9:50 utc | 24
according to wayne
It turns out Bianca was Bianca Davie of Bloomberg News who was in the back of the briefing room but did not hear Bush call on her. Looks like Bush had his typical list of reporters from GOP connected media at the ready.
Posted by: annie | Sep 23 2005 16:53 utc | 27
Looks like Billmon has given up on satire and gone straight for the reality. Satire can’t keep up…
Posted by: bcf | Sep 23 2005 21:01 utc | 28