Meet Tom, a Chelydra serpentina — the common snapping turtle.
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April 14, 2005
Billmon: Tom Turtle
Comments
Pit bulls are really great dogs, wonderfully playfull and very loving. They get a bad rap and comparing pit bulls to Dick Cheney is insulting to all of us pit bull owners/lovers.
Posted by: Ellen St. George | Apr 14 2005 19:24 utc | 1
The whole piece is an insult to snapping turtles–comparing them to a rotten piece of carrion like Delay.
Remember night fishing one time and putting 2 3-4lb channel cats in a burlap bag, tying it to a stump and putting it in the water.
Big snapper comes along, eats all the catfish, and half the burlap bag.
Didn’t do that again.
Posted by: FlashHarry | Apr 14 2005 19:48 utc | 7
We used to have a turtle race at my school every year in Ontario Canada. A big snapper, say 50 lbs, can snap a 2×4.
Not the best racers but always a panic with 20 – 30 other turtles trying to get away from them :).
There does seem to be a solid analogy here all right.
PenGun
Do What Now ??? … Standards and Practices !
Pit bulls are really great dogs, wonderfully playfull and very loving. They get a bad rap and comparing pit bulls to Dick Cheney is insulting to all of us pit bull owners/lovers.
You’ve never seen the unfortunate results of mixing pit bulls with gang members. In NY there were several cases of them getting the dogs for fighting and feeding them gun powder to make them mean.
I kid you not. It’s heartbreaking.
But the result looks a lot like Dick Cheney.
Posted by: four legs good | Apr 14 2005 20:13 utc | 9
Hey Guys! Glad to see everyone perched on their stools and drinking up. Just like the old days at Billmon’s.
I will have two or three of whatever everybody else is slurping, and while we are getting acquainted, read this and experience a real jolt of excitment: http://thehill.com/thehill/export/TheHill/News/Frontpage/041405/gop.html
Thanks to the new bar keeps for opening up such a great joint!
Susan
Posted by: susan | Apr 14 2005 20:51 utc | 10
PICTURE TITLE
With respect to those who thought the piece was harsh on snapping turtles, I offer up this title for the pic: “DeLay – DeVolved from Snapping Turtles?”
Posted by: ewx | Apr 14 2005 21:19 utc | 11
His Mon said:
“….But DeLay is a snapping turtle. They’re not supposed to let go until it thunders, remember? And right now I don’t see a cloud in the sky.”
May be no clouds in the sky….but what about those Rovian hammersmashers hidden in the slime at the bottom of the mercury-laden slough?
from a-train:
i don’t know why, but it is tough to imagine delay going down.
eeeeuuuuwww.
…and as a female, the idea of a snapping turtle within inches of…nevermind.
Speaking of skanky and disgusting thoughts, I read the funniest take down of Rush Limbaugh in the comments on Atrios…it would take me forever to find the whole thing, but it was a question about whether the attraction for Daryl Kagen is because she gets off on the musky aroma of Rush’s man tits.
LOL.
Posted by: fauxreal | Apr 14 2005 21:45 utc | 13
musky aroma-Rush’s man tits-nice.
bartender, another shot and beer.
Posted by: iamchilli | Apr 14 2005 22:01 utc | 14
Careful; the wingnuttia will be describing this post as a knife threat to an Elected Official.
Posted by: lutton | Apr 14 2005 22:27 utc | 15
Pit bulls can be wonderful dogs, but if they’re not properly brought up, properly trained and protected from exposure to objectivism or Straussian ideas they can become very dangerous animals.
OK Colman, ya made me laugh out loud…
From Eschaton
Daryn Kagan is probably attracted to the musk of all that OxyContin-infused sweat dripping from Rush’s man-tits.
Cast Iron Stomach | Email | Homepage | 04.13.05 – 1:40 pm | #
Posted by: razor | Apr 14 2005 22:34 utc | 17
Thanks razor. Obviously you’re not as lazy as I am. Nice to see you around again, too.
Posted by: fauxreal | Apr 14 2005 22:48 utc | 18
God I missed you, Bill. Welcome back. Nobody but nobody can tell it like you do. Please keep doing that voodoo that you do _so_ well (with thanks to Cole Porter.)
However, being a Texan (unfortuantly, no Texan can be an ex-Texan, but we can choose not to live there), don’t hold your breath waiting for the sweet folks in Sugarland to cut Tommie D. loose. Way too much red in the sugar bowl.
Posted by: Brewster | Apr 14 2005 23:03 utc | 19
Yeah, I’ve got eight pit bull terriers in my house right now, all co-existing peacefully, all of them rescued from a death sentence at the shelter or from horrible living conditions that amounted to a death sentence. Whenever you see a sensationalist news article about how one chewed on a toddler, you can bet the mortgage that the owner is either clueless fucktard dumb or just a complete scumbag. That show on Animal Planet, The Dog Whisperer, demonstrates time and again how the majority of problems people have with their dogs is because of sheer ignorance.
Anyway, sorry to veer off the political track, but dog rescue takes up a lot of my time when I’m not reading blogs, and I’m really tired of the “insane vicious monster pit bull” myth.
Posted by: Iconoclast | Apr 14 2005 23:37 utc | 20
Iconoclast,
could you sort something out for me? You obviously know a lot about pit bull terriers.
Are pit bull terriers abused by people who want to get an aggressive dog because pit bull terriers are in any way more aggressive than another dog in comparable size, or is this just a case of public image? What I mean is if a lot of people think pit bull terriers are scary they are the preferred choice for people who want a scary dog, but is there any objective basis for this preference other than size?
I completely understand and share your viewpoint about pit bull terriers not being mean except when made so by ignorant or evil people. As I know little about pit bull terriers I would be glad if you enlightened me.
Posted by: A swedish kind of death | Apr 14 2005 23:57 utc | 21
Another ode to the DeLaying of America. I was gonna post this here in comments, but it got so long, I kos posted it.
Posted by: fauxreal | Apr 15 2005 1:00 utc | 22
last time i looked pit bulls were not in the top 3 even of dog bites reported per year.i believe german shepherds,dalmations,and collies? its been a few years i’ll have to google and see if things have changed.
Posted by: onzaga | Apr 15 2005 1:05 utc | 23
I would have to compare Delay to a more extreme animal. T-Rex. A dinosaur of the past, he is resurrected from the Gilded age era to lead the US back to the glory days of millionares lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills and workers with extreme sub-standard lives picking through lifes leftovers for a meal and child labor.
A dinosaur that will take you back to the inquisition where judges are not safe unless blessed by the church. Where people who do not believe in the christian way are burned as heretics.
A dinosaur that will take you back to the garden of Eden (creation) and erase any scientific advances in the name of religion.
Yet, he is a product of evolution. But is he really a T-Rex (or just a one celled animal)?
Give the snapper a break, he’s a dinosaur.
Posted by: jdp | Apr 15 2005 1:33 utc | 24
@Brewster, Jimmie Dale Gilmore was in town last month and explained himself this way: “Not all Texans agree with all Texans.” You must be in the first group – hope it’s growing.
Posted by: lonesomeG | Apr 15 2005 1:45 utc | 25
Denny Hastert is a grizzled old polar bear — who needs to go on a diet.
Hey! Polar bears survive in the arctic by being round (low surface area to volume ratio) and fat. He doesn’t need a diet, he’s just living at the wrong latitude.
I don’t know as much about pit bulls as Iconoclast, but as the wife and mother of veterinarians, I am of the opinion that how they are socialized is key to what type of disposition or temperament they develop. If, as young dogs, they are exposed to lots of people who treat them with kindness and affection, they make fine pets.
For many years, an American Staffordshire terrior (American pit bull) was our next door neighbor. Pitsy and our two labs played together constantly; while her jaws were big, Pitsy was a gentle and exuberant playmate. At the age of 15, she had to be put down due to health related problems. We continue to miss her.
Most “mean” dogs are made not born. Ignorant people create them because they don’t know (or don’t care) how to properly care for them and meet their needs.
Posted by: susan | Apr 15 2005 4:08 utc | 27
Just saw the Bugman on CSPAM debating changes to House Ethics Committee rules with Denny Hoyer. Delay was uncharecteristically stuttering and very awkard in his manner? He was trying to defend the indefensible – changes to House Ethics Rules!
How to put back together the rules for the House Ethics Committee without actually letting it perform its intended function? Quite a quandary? Damned if he does damned if he doesn’t??
While watching him display an extremely circuitous and inexplicable logic to his reasoning in favor of the changes, I kept thinking the same thought over and over. Where have I seen this before? Aha, the Nature specials where they have the “pack” of predators that travel together. Suddenly and unexpectedly the proud leader of the pack injures it’s foot. The pack immediately begins to circle the “former” leader awaiting their opportunity to pounce and claim their leadership status.
I regret to say I even had a pang of sympathy for the former leader? No one deserves to die such an ugly death at the jaws of ones former colleauges? But then the feeling quickly passed.
Tommorrows a bright day!
Posted by: Young Turk | Apr 15 2005 4:29 utc | 29
Most “mean” dogs are made not born. Ignorant people create them ..
Sorry to piss of your parade here, but this discussion about lovable pit-bulls is verging on the absurd.
All very nature/nurture, isn’t it? ‘Mean dogs are made, not born’. What’s next? Lamarkian inheritance?
These “mean” dogs are made. They were made to be mean. They were bloody well bred to be mean. Sheesh!
Posted by: DM | Apr 15 2005 5:04 utc | 30
“don’t hold your breath waiting for the sweet folks in Sugarland to cut Tommie D. loose.”
I’m not, but it let me work in the image of cutting DeLay’s head off with a Bowie knife. Just my little revenge fantasy for the day.
“it was a question about whether the attraction for Daryl Kagen is because she gets off on the musky aroma of Rush’s man tits.”
Actually, I think the attraction is to the musky aroma of the cash dripping from Rush’s man wallet.
Posted by: Anonymous | Apr 15 2005 5:21 utc | 31
These “mean” dogs are made. They were made to be mean. They were bloody well bred to be mean. Sheesh!
Utter rubbish! They can be aggressive, but they are not mean! If understood and properly cared for, they are fine dogs! When it comes to dogs, chows are pretty fierce. However, in the right families, they, too, are good pets.
Posted by: susan | Apr 15 2005 5:39 utc | 33
aren’t poodles meaner – by temperament – than any sort of pit bulls? “de lay der poodle?”
Posted by: ewx | Apr 15 2005 6:11 utc | 34
The snapping turtle analogy is perfect, especially the part of not letting go (and man, they wont). In a presumptive sort of way, this shows a certain complicity within its own character, to its own decapitation. It remindes me of (I think?) “Goodfellas” when the Joe Pesci character is summend to the Dons house knowing all too well (he fucked up) and is probably going to get wacked for it. Nontheless, as an unwavering testament to his one and only true belief (authority), he goes and serves himself up willingly — and is, of course, unceremoniously wacked.
Are you laughen at me? Huh? Are you laughen at me? Am I funny to you?
………………………………..
Well, yeah I guess so.
Posted by: anna missed | Apr 15 2005 6:19 utc | 36
[Analytically reading through comments. Missing some particular names, enchanted to see others.]
So, anyway?
A very good eye for composition. Notice, how the eyelines match, just as the frowning lips mirror each other – yet, expanding, as our regarding eye grazes from Tom, over to the grotesque, Caligarian endstate, we outread our first glance of this montage.
Applicable for most predominantly left-to-right readers, the look will glance now back to the left, upper right corner for a second reading.
The overall image we regard now does hold tension. Instinctively we attempt to give the human part of the composition more special regard to be interpreted, whilst trying to read the imagery out to it’s bottom right corner.
We cannot escape noticing a certain paralellness of montaged image and associated, primordial intent attribution .
Billmons art has clearly gained stricter focus, clearer in its juxtapositions. Where an early Whiskeybar woud have focused in more realisticly montaged imagery, a matured, stylistically secure Billmon now lets just the keen eye of his composition bring out the inherent quality of a given, popular image to train our view anew into clarity.
Posted by: Anonymous | Apr 15 2005 7:56 utc | 38
Susan,
yes but I still found it interesting. 🙂
Posted by: A swedish kind of death | Apr 15 2005 10:21 utc | 41
snapping turtle is perfect. they make good soup though ; )
Posted by: moi | Apr 15 2005 13:09 utc | 42
http://www.motherearthnews.com/library/1980_July_August/Succulent_Snapper
Posted by: Anonymous | Apr 15 2005 13:14 utc | 43
@Anna missed:
Wrong Movie. Good Fellas was hilarious in a psychotic, dysfunctional sort of way.
Posted by: Groucho | Apr 15 2005 13:41 utc | 44
A swedish kind of death:
Unfortunately, the bulldog breed in general has been traditionally bred for “sport”, like bull-baiting or dogfighting. They refer to dogs with an overt tendency towards aggression as “game-bred”. The thing is, the handlers had to be able to separate the dogs when the fight was over without being torn up themselves, so there was a strong distinction between dog-aggression and people-aggression, and breeding was naturally selective towards that end. I’ve seen quite a few that were totally docile with people, but became near uncontrollable at the sight of another dog (though even that can be dealt with by someone with knowledge and patience). Many aren’t aggressive at all – one of mine loves everything from other people to other dogs to guinea pigs to lizards. He actually got attacked by a much smaller beagle-mix once and wouldn’t even fight back.
They’re very energetic, so if not given ample exercise, it can easily turn to neurotic frustration and aggression – thus, when they stay confined to an apartment, a pen or tied on a short chain to a tree, that’s often what happens. It’s not much different for any other powerful, energetic breeds, like Rottweilers, Dobermans, German Shepards, etc., which have all been the flavor-of-the-month when it comes to killer-dog hysteria, and which are often preferred by macho dickheads for that very reason. So, it becomes somewhat of a vicious circle – they’re capable of doing damage when they want to, so they’re sought out by irresponsible idiots who want a visible penis extension, and when they make the news, it scares away potential owners who would raise them well, and so it goes. Capability doesn’t mean inevitability, of course.
My girlfriend works for a vet, and one of her co-workers just had to get her hand stitched up because of a Shih-tzu. That’s usually the case – it’s the small, high-strung dogs who are most likely to snap; it’s just because they can’t do as much serious damage that no one panics about it.
A couple links – here and here.
Posted by: Iconoclast | Apr 15 2005 13:44 utc | 45
“Are you laughen at me? Huh? Are you laughen at me? Am I funny to you?”
It’s just, you know, the way you tell the story, Anna. (sweats) You know, it’s just, uh, funny. You know wudda I mean?
Posted by: Billmon | Apr 15 2005 13:49 utc | 46
Iconoclast,
thanks. Suspected something along those lines.
Posted by: A swedish kind of death | Apr 16 2005 3:00 utc | 50
To lonesomeG: Jimmy Dale’s one of my favorite people, first heard him when he was with the Flatlanders in Lubbock in the 70’s. Even though I don’t live in Texas any more (yea!), I keep in touch with a lot of people down there who are fighting back at the Republicans at all levels. Yes, the number is growing. Makes me proud.
To Billmon: I do not mean to imply that the image of Tommie’s severed head with a bone in his mouth would not be “sweet as sugar”, it certainly would. I can’t remember a more politically despicable human being, and Texas has certainly had more than it’s share. I just think the affluent conservatives who dominate the population of his district won’t kick him out unless he gets indicted. I lived in Austin for 10 years and I watched Ronny Earl do his job with surgical precision. Once Mr. Earl ‘picks up the scent’, he follows the trail to the bitter end, and no snapping turtle or pit bull will shake him loose. He dots every i and crosses every t. That dog _can_ hunt, and he’ll stay in the field until it’s over.
Posted by: Brewster | Apr 16 2005 3:08 utc | 51
what does the frowning on a pitbull’s head mean & the gathing on their mouth means
Posted by: darell | Jan 16 2006 20:00 utc | 52