Moon of Alabama Brecht quote
September 26, 2004
Tom is Happy to Help

… the Bush administration launches a new pre-election antiterrorism campaign this week that will include the likely arrests of hundreds of aliens from Middle Eastern and other countries known to be havens for terrorists. Homeland Security has targeted for possible detention as many as 2,000 foreigners who are believed to be in violation of their visas and about whom there is “soft intelligence” suggesting possible terror connections.

Newsweek: Homeland Security’s Info: Miles from Nowhere – last graph

RING, RING, RING

TOM: Ridge here

KARL: Hi Tom, this is Karl – how are you – hey we have a problem here and I need your help.

TOM: Sure Karl, what’s up? Need some guards at a rally somewhere?

KARL: No, no – you see, this Kerry guy is pointing all over Iraq – and says it’s a mess – now even the media takes note – we can’t let this happen – we need to change the headlines – but nothing like anthrax this time – that’s too negative – you know – we ARE Winning the War on Terra – even Osama holds back for now.

TOM: Okay, okay, so you want more like positive action. Want some terrorists dead or something more subtle?

KARL: Subtle sounds fine – sounds fine – and big – big numbers.

TOM: Hmmm big. Ahh, here’s an idea: Foreigners, illegal and we have plenty of them and they don’t vote. Girly man’s land is full of them and they speak Spanish – nearly as good as screwing the French.

KARL: No, no – not the Mexicans – cheap as they come – Texas needs them – get some others – or these nasty academics and work from there – toss in some mullahs and foreign actors – girly man has that list – and make it big.

TOM: So you want one hundred.

KARL: I said big – you know like ten thousand or so – big TERRORIST headlines.

TOM: Ten thousand? Hey I don’t have room for ten thousand. The RNC still has Pier 57, but even that’s too small. Let’s see, I can give you like one thousand max. That all I can put into cells right now.

KARL: Make that five thousand Tom – four thousand – just stack them – hey, even the Army could do that.

TOM: Two, two is all I can give you now and I can’t hold them for long, you know like six weeks or so.

KARL: Let me see my calendar – oh five weeks left – five weeks would be enough – and two thousand is fine for now – and find some evidence – like something chemical or laptops – you know cyberwar – just beef it up – and make it last – like, you know, five weeks – make one headline each day.

TOM: Yeah – okay, okay – I got it. Two thousand roundup – Liberals, immigrant terrorists and the like and stick some evidence up their asses. And daily media briefs – Consider it done – I am happy to help – We’ll start Monday – That’s fine with you?

KARL: Yeah, Monday is fine – gotta go and tell Dick now – see you and have a nice one – bye.

TOM: Amen, bye.

spread the word

Comments

One of the many grossly wrong-headed things about focusing on “foreigners”, especially international students, for heavyhanded scrutiny and harassment is that they are potentially our best advocates or, at least, explainers of our culture and values to audiences abroad.

Posted by: maxcrat | Sep 26 2004 20:46 utc | 1

OT, billmon in the latimes.

Posted by: mats | Sep 26 2004 23:42 utc | 2

So this is the best they can do for the “October Surprise”? How feeble and cynical. I was hoping the administration would at least present us with Jimmy Hoffa or John Kerry’s black love-child, to say nothing of Osama being dragged behind the presidential motorcade in chains. But instead we get a bunch of faceless schmucks.

Posted by: Harrow | Sep 27 2004 2:41 utc | 3

As usual billmon is dead on. Also as usual money power greed corrode and eat away anything that is creative and spontainious, free-flowing. I knew back in eighties when I saw the first pay-toliet. Pay to shit? Yes, my peers you are the product.

Posted by: Uncle $cam | Sep 27 2004 2:50 utc | 4

Actually, I thought Billmon was right to mention rock and roll as well as hip hop getting commercialized by money interests, but that he really mis-analyzed what that means. Sure rock gets commercialized. But then punk, and then grunge, and then hip hop, and then…
The blogosphere is just as big a playground as music, and even if each generation gets stuck in its own wave, blogspace will keep pulling out new ‘sounds’ and new voices.
The poets will keep digging up out of the shit and displaying lotuses. Its just that you can’t ever get away from the shit for long. It’s where we live.

Posted by: Citizen | Sep 27 2004 3:22 utc | 5

Actually, I thought Billmon was right to mention rock and roll as well as hip hop getting commercialized by money interests, but that he really mis-analyzed what that means. Sure rock gets commercialized. But then punk, and then grunge, and then hip hop, and then…
The blogosphere is just as big a playground as music, and even if each generation gets stuck in its own wave, blogspace will keep pulling out new ‘sounds’ and new voices.
The poets will keep digging up out of the shit and displaying lotuses. Its just that you can’t ever get away from the shit for long. It’s where we live.

Posted by: Citizen | Sep 27 2004 3:22 utc | 6

Can’t agree with Billmon.
Never was a ‘Billmon is always spot-on’ pundit, but in this case, Billmon may be finished with Blogging – it is not that Blogging is finished.
Where would be today if not for the internet? In Tehran and Damascus I think.

Posted by: DM | Sep 27 2004 3:49 utc | 7

Day 1 headline result of the Rove/Ridge phone call:
Election Heightens Terrorism Offensive

Agencies across the federal government are launching an aggressive and unusually open offensive aimed at thwarting terrorist plots before and during the presidential election in November.

Counterterrorism officials concede they do not have new or specific intelligence outlining plans for an attack, but they say they remain alarmed by indications that al Qaeda and other terror groups might seek to influence U.S. elections

The FBI, … will focus heavily on individuals within the United States who are suspected of having ties to al Qaeda and other terrorist groups or who sympathize with their causes

Local police will be urged to run the names of suspicious people through the federal government’s terrorism watch list, even during traffic stops and other minor encounters.

Posted by: b | Sep 27 2004 7:09 utc | 8

How about some traffic stops in front of (minority) voting localities where police officers check folks against the terrorism watch list. Salon Voter terrorism

Posted by: b | Sep 27 2004 9:14 utc | 9